folding laundry in the other room
i'm a self-proclaimed ipad kid. i can't eat a meal without watching a youtube video or vapidly scrolling through tiktok when i'm alone at the dining table. i'm not religious, but i've given that up for lent. i've realized i'm often reluctant to leave myself enough space to think, but i'm also very desperately trying to become more present. it's a sacrifice more for me than any other divinity. i'd like to learn to live in my own self-imposed quiets.
and right now, that quiet is warm. there's no electric fan in the guest room where i fold my clothes and i can feel my shirt beginning to stick to the damp of my back. outside, the sky is a clear, bright blue. there are hills of clouds peeking over the rooftop of my neighbor's house. it's as still as a suburb can get. all i can hear is the occasional pass of a car by the main street and the steady rumble and turn of the dryer in the bathroom.
i can feel it all moving so slowly & i'm torn between feeling peaceful or uneasy. i only know i'm afraid, but i want to not be. the world is here! and i am here! i would like to live (well) in it.